Do you think that you make a good first impression? They say that “you never get a second chance to make a first impression” and it is very true indeed.
When you fist meet someone they will weigh you up and make a decision on what type of person they think you are and all this happens in the first seven seconds, you want to make the very best impression that you can.
There is a fantastic book my Marcia Grad called Charisma: How To Get That Special Magic. In her book Marcia lists six steps to making a positive first impression, she even gives it a memorable mnemonic so that you can easily remember it. The mnemonic is SOFTEN. I will explain exactly what it means to you now.
Smile
When you first meet someone there is nothing that can get you off to a good start better than a genuine smile. A genuine smile can break down the defences of the most hardened individual. A genuine smile states an awful lot of positive things about you, it states that you are happy, approachable, enthusiastic and positive. If you do not smile when meeting someone for the first time you come across to them as grumpy, worried and uncomfortable, is that the kind of first impression that you want to make?
Open Body Language
When you have open body language it lets the other person know that you are open to them emotionally and that you are willing to listen to what they have to say without pre-judging them. If you have closed body language, such as folded arms, crossed legs, or you have your body turned away from the person that you are interacting with, you are giving off the impression that you are lacking in confidence and also that you are not interested in what they have to say to you.
Forward Lean
When you like someone and you find them interesting you are apt to lean forward towards them, this is a universal sign that you are interested in what they have to say. When someone is getting on your nerves or you have little to no interest in what they have to say then you will find yourself moving away from them and holding back, you will subtly keep your distance from them.
Touch
When you meet someone for the very first time one of the very first things that you will do is to shake hands with them, if you are a business person this is the only time that it is appropriate for you to touch and believe me you will be being judged by your hand shake.
If your hand shake is too lifeless and limp (we call that the “dead fish”) people will not want to do business with you because you come across as a weak personality, yes they will get all that information from a single hand shake. If your hand shake is like a vice and you cut off the circulation in their hand (we call that “the crusher”) then that is just as bad as the “dead fish” hand shake. When you crush someone’s hand in a hand shake you are telling them that you have something to prove, whether it is to yourself or to them, you are trying to dominate them through sheer brute force and people do not like to be dominated. You need to find a happy medium between the two styles, not too weak and not too firm but somewhere in the middle.
Eye Contact
When you look into someone’s eyes you are connecting with them on an emotional level, that does not give you Carte Blanche to get into a staring contest, you just hold the persons gaze long enough for them to feel a connection, a good rule of thumb is to look into their eyes long enough to see the colour of their eyes and then repeat the colour of their eyes to yourself in your head before looking away.
When you meet someone who refuses to look you in the eye you automatically think that they have got something to hide, that they are shifty and untrustworthy, and if they stare too long it makes you feel as if they are trying to intimidate you, you need to find a happy medium with this approach too.
Nod
You can agree with what someone is saying without even saying a single word just by the nodding of your head, that is the power of body language. By nodding your head you are showing them that you agree with what they are saying.
When you meet someone for the first time and you are shaking their hand it always helps to give a little nod of the head, this will confirm to them that you are pleased to meet them and that you appreciate them.
Remember.”you never get a second chance to make a first impression” so use the SOFTEN approach and make your first impression a lasting one for all the right reasons. You will not get a second chance.
Sean is a Life Coach and Master NLP Practitioner specializing in helping clients who are feeling “STUCK” to get “UNSTUCK” and to achieve more in less time than they ever thought possible with the power of goal setting and self empowerment.
Download your FREE report on the benefits of group coaching, and how you can get better results in less time and save money into the bargain, download a copy here. Or you can contact Sean direct for a free 30 minute Design your Destiny consultation. You can email Sean at: sean@letsgetcoached.com, please forward Sean’s email address to anyone who you think could benefit from his service.
Article Source: Six Steps to a Positive First Impression Using the SOFTEN Approach!
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