Your relationship just does not seem to give you the happiness that you expected. It started off with great fanfare and immense promise. You felt wonderful, he was attentive and you were on a perpetual high… you were high on love and he was the fix that you needed and you needed him… and all of him frequently. But now the spark is gone, you feel taken for granted and all your happily-ever-after hopes and dreams have crashed and burnt. So what are the secrets of good relationships? What are the hidden aspects of happy relationships?
1. Mutual respect! Yes, you do need a two people reciprocal admiration society composed only of you and him. This may be a challenge if you have been together a long time as familiarity has a way of eroding the qualities you once found so amazing. Remember what it is that attracted you to him and make an effort to sincerely compliment him on the things that he does well. And try not to harp too long on the things that he does not do well. Mention the problem and then leave it alone. Talking constantly about his mistakes will only build resentment and add to your mutual unhappiness.
2. Mutual awe! Do you admire each other? Are there things about him that just amaze you? Does he admire you? One of the secrets of good relationships is mutual wonder. You may not feel this way, so you need to work on it. Hang out with him as he does mundane things and just enjoy his presence, jokes and light banters. Remember how easy and fun this was in the earlier days?
3. Really listen to each other! Do you ‘hear’ each other or do you talk at each other. One of the secrets of good relationships is not taking each other for granted. And the only way to not do that is to really hear what the other person is saying with their words and body language. Encourage him to talk by listening to him…. Really listening and connecting with him. Do not be tempted to take your criticism with you!
4. Treat each other well! I know you tend to treat him with the same disinterest that he dishes out to you. But one of the secrets of good relationships is to treat him well. Resist the temptation to repay evil for evil but turn the relationship around by taking baby steps in treating him well. The initial steps will be hard but I assure you that it will get easier with time. He may be initially suspicious but as you continue on this journey only a harden rogue would not notice and begin to respond in kind.
5. Learn each others love language. They lied; you should not treat him as you would want to be treated. You need to treat him as he would want to be treated. What is his love language? For him to feel loved what actions does he need to see displayed by you. We often assume that our love language is his love language leading to endless frustration and heartache.
Rosy Anderson is a researcher in social economic research and how it affects human decisions. She has a special interest and passion for relationships. Click here http://comprehendingmen.com/ for more secrets on relationships and how best to up your game.
Article Source: Secrets of Good Relationships
More From Arlene Taveroff
Related posts:
- The Importance of Supportive Relationships By MJ Schrader Do you leave your friends and feel energized or drained? Are your relationships supportive? Do you feel guarded or open when around them? You have friends, and you enjoy their friendship, but have you ever thought about important your relationships are? Why all the questions? Sometimes you need to look at your friendships and relationships [...]...
- Learning About Yourself Is the Best Way to Succeed in Relationships By Doron Gil, Ph.D. There are many ways by which you might be harming your relationships. Often you are not aware of them. You use them in a routine manner, on automatic pilot. They’ve become your pattern of thought and behaviour. Not being aware of this situation, when your relationship fails you don’t take [...]...
- Setting Boundaries in Relationships By Judy H. Wright Setting personal boundaries are like identifying the gates in our invisible fence lines which protects the precious heart and soul inside our bodies. Many people look at boundaries as walls, but rather when we establish healthy boundaries it provides a way to distinguish what we choose to let in and [...]...
- Using Your Relationships To Realize Real Life by Guy Finley... The greatest, most abundant resource on planet Earth is also its least understood and utilized. Its unlimited supply is found virtually everywhere, anytime, and under all circumstances, even though few recognize its real value. What is this most precious collective resource? It is our relationships....
- Three Steps To A Good Life And Good Business By Julie-Ann Blackmore There are only three steps to a good life and a good business and they are the following: One: Know Who You Are. Two: Know Why You Are Here Three: Know What You Are Supposed To Do Now You Know Who You Are and Why You Are Here That’s it, do all of those and you are [...]...
You may haven’t intended to do so, but I think you have managed to express the state of mind that a lot of individuals are in. The sense of wanting to assist, but not knowing how or wherever, is something lots of us are going via.