by Lisa Hayes…
I used to think that compassion was a kind thing. I used to practice being compassionate like a four year old practices riding a bicycle without training wheels, cautiously, with a wobble. I wanted to get it right so badly. I tried and tried – however, sometimes, often times, I fell down – hard.
These days I see compassion a little differently, and trust me, I know this may not set well with some people. However, at this point in my life I do not see compassion as a kindness. First of all, compassion has to require some sort of judgment that something is wrong in the first place. Now it may seem obvious that sometimes something is wrong. Someone is sick or dieing. Someone lost everything. Someone is alone, cold, homeless, scared, or has been victimized in some way. Clearly, something is wrong – or is it? I really don’t know. I don’t. Maybe that thing I perceive to be so terribly wrong will be the turning point in the road to something miraculous and perfect. Maybe not. Maybe it’s not my place to judge.
Secondly, when I am offering a vibration of compassion, I am not offering my highest vibration. I heard a ten year old little girl on You Tube the other day talking about “Positive Energy Donations”. Compassion doesn’t feel that way to me anymore. It feels like, “Oh, poor you. I feel your pain. How sad for you!” Not uplifting. Not even really supportive. Certainly not a positive energy donation.
There have been times in my life when I desperately wanted compassion or even sympathy. At times, very loving, kind hearted people gave it to me. However, to be fully honest, those people never really had a particularly impact in my life. However, the people who saw me as capable, competent, able, and expected me to behave accordingly did have an impact, a very positive one. For those people I am very, very thankful.
To everyone out there, I see you in your highest place of divine light and goodness. I see you capable of amazing feats and daring acts of wild accomplishment. I see you fully alive, fully engaged, and emerged in all of it, all the way, joyfully. I see you that way even when you don’t and I ask that you see me that same way too.
Now that feels like a positive energy donation!
Lisa Hayes is the author of HOW TO ESCAPE FROM RELATIONSHIP HELL. She is a mother of two, yoga instructor, hypnotherapist, and internet project manager. Lisa likes long walks on the beach and naps. You can contact her at http://www.escapefromrelationshiphell.com.
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I get this. When I’m sick, down, depressed, etc., the last thing I want is pity. I don’t want to be reminded of my pain, and I don’t want others to assume the burden of my pain. When you run into someone who seems down and out, it’s more respectful to look beyond the malady and speak to the human.
Hey! Thanks a lot…