One of the most common things that my clients talk to me about is how they often feel frustrated. They know that this is normal, but they also know how that doesn’t make it right because normal means crazy. As we will see, the normal subconscious mind controls us, not the other way around. That means that the things that make you frustrated from a nightmare boss to a difficult personal relationship, from a business that’s plodding along instead of exploding to a constant battle with your weight, are not, believe it or not, the cause of your frustration. You cause your own frustration by paying attention to the useless thoughts in your head. But, unfortunately, our perceived frustration means that we give up all too easily on the things we want to achieve or put right in our lives thereby proving to ourselves that we were right to be frustrated in the first place!
The normal mind is plagued by fifty thousand thoughts each day. Many of them are harmless, some of them give rise to stupid distraction but some of them are toxic. These self-destructive thoughts are the product of our subconscious programming. Psychology confirms that this programming or conditioning is the basis for our perspective on life and, more importantly, our own self-perspective. And it is this programming that dictates our behaviour. In this way, our subconscious mind actually creates our lives. The subconscious is home to all your perceived inadequacies and it is these that command the greater part of its focus. It is from this well of discontent that seriously useless thoughts, like frustration, come to the surface. In other words, it is not outside events or people that frustrate you – you frustrate yourself. This is the key problem that I want to address.
However, there is a very real knock-on problem that arises. Because we get frustrated so very easily, we tend to give up on the idea that our lives can get any better. A classic twenty-first century example of this – one that I read of regularly – is the way many people who set up new internet businesses give up after only a few weeks – because they get frustrated that things haven’t got going as quickly as they thought they would. People will advise anyone in this situation that they must persevere – and this is how I advise my own personal development and business clients in respect of whatever project they’re working on. Research from the University of Madrid’s Business School has shown that highly successful people are those who have persevered – even in the face of serial failure. To paraphrase US President Calvin Coolidge, perseverance is the only thing that guarantees success.
Perseverance comes naturally to a focused mind. And it is focus that will enable you banish your feelings of frustration. Many people, however, misunderstand the concept of focus – thinking that it relates to keeping your mind on whatever target you have set for yourself. Whilst we all need to have an idea of the direction we want our lives to go in, this goal-orientated focus is not the kind of focus that I’m talking about. Focus, at its most basic and most powerful, means paying attention to the here and now, to the task is hand, to the reality of the moment. And it is this kind of focus that not only develops your ability to hang in there. More importantly, this type of focus will completely rid your life of all feelings of frustration.
As I already said, frustration is a trick of the mind – it is the concrete result of you paying attention to the useless thoughts that give rise to frustration. The useless thoughts that we all guard jealously in our subconscious mind are the product of the things that we learned about life in general and ourselves in particular during our formative years. As such, these useless thoughts are never likely to simply vanish into thin are – they are part and parcel of the human condition. However, as a so-called grown up, you can decide if you’re going to pay attention to these useless thoughts – in other words, it’s time for you to take responsibility for your own state of mind.
By learning the fine are of focusing, you will automatically stop paying attention to the thoughts that lead to frustration – although they will still be present, they will no longer wield any power over you. As such, your primary goal – in life – should be to constantly enhance your innate ability to focus your mind. Focus means paying attention – it is that simple – but, I’m talking about giving your full attention to what is actually happening in the here and now and, as a result, paying no attention at all to the nonsensical things that our subconscious minds create for us.
As a child, you were expert at focusing on the present moment. If you have or know young children you will understand the extent to which they can easily become fully absorbed in whatever it is that they’re doing. A three-year-old opening his or her Christmas gifts uses all of their senses to fully experience the moment – the gift is rattled, smelled, tasted, examined from every angle – the experience leaves no room for attention for anything else. You’ve got to go back to how you used your mind when you were a child. You’ve got to re-develop your ability to feel, hear, see, smell and taste what’s really going on right now – even if you think that current events are driving you insane. Remember, those feelings have been added to the real reality of the moment by your otherwise preoccupied mind.
The sooner you start your ‘focus training’ the better. So, make a little time – a few minutes will do – to sit down and close your eyes. For those few minutes just hear the sounds – all the sounds of the reality of the here and now. Each morning you should take a few minutes to pay attention to what each of your five senses, in turn, are telling you. If you start the day in this way, you set yourself up for a completely different experience from the normal day that the normal crazy person creates for themselves.
Copyright (c) 2011 Willie Horton
Willie Horton enables his clients change their lives – since he launched his [http://www.gurdy.net/]Personal Development Seminars in 1996. His clients include Pfizer, Deloitte, Nestle, KPMG, G4S & Allergan. An Irishman, he lives in the French Alps and travels the world as a much sought after speaker and mentor. Gurdy.Net is home to his Online Personal Development Seminars.
Article Source: How To Rid Your Life Of Frustration