Do you ever feel like you are getting pushed around a lot? Does it seem like the world is bullying you with every move you make? I feel like this sometimes and not only with the world but also with the people in the world.
Here is an example: About a year ago I had some car problems. One morning when I woke up to go to work the car was starting funny. So later on I took it into the mechanics and they did their inspections and saw that the battery was really bad and that the alternator needed to be replaced. For those who do not know….. that means $$$ chi-ching!!! $$$ Money out of my pocket quickly.
After all that was replaced my wife and I had the car returned to us and it was running just fine…so we thought. Not even ten minutes later the engine began to over heat and smoke was coming out of the hood!!! Could not have believed it. Once we got the engine cooled down we took it over to the mechanic’s and in a nice way told them…. Fix it.
This was their diagnostic on the engine. The radiator fan is broken and you will need to take it somewhere else to get it fixed. Sorry but it has nothing to do with us, we did our job so tough.
WHAT!!!
I let them have it. I was talking to everyone in the ranks to get them to admit they screwed it up and that they needed to fix it that day. But to no avail, nothing happened.
We got it fixed elsewhere and we spent a lot of hard earned money. What a bad deal.
There are many people out there that cause us to be intimidated. Car sales men, car mechanics, bosses, coworkers, arrogant students, rich people,people stronger than you physically, teachers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts and any bully who thinks they are better than you.
I used to act directly with them just like I did with the mechanic shop. I would lash out in anger or make sure I did my best to make them feel intimidated proving I was of value to them. Sometimes however I would try to just run away or find a way to get out of there so I did not have to feel like that.
We all have been in some similar situation where we felt intimidated or bullied by some one or something, so I want to share this with you on how you can avoid it.
I was reading this book called Zen in the Martial Arts by Joe Hyams. There is a lesson in this book that I love and it is called “Recognize a true threat”.
In this lesson Brue Lee draws a line around a student that was large enough for him not to be touched by any opponent if he stayed in the center. No matter how hard someone tried to attack him, if he stated in the middle, he could not be harmed. By knowing this the student could then relax due to no real threat being posed.
The lesson is this:
~ At any given point out side of the circle one can not be touched. You are in no real danger. But once someone is in the circle there are 2 options:
1 – Move your circle
2 – React to the situation
~ No reaction in necessary unless the circle is invaded…. Do not allow unnecessary reactions to happen. If you do, this will lead to wasted energy and wasted energy brings you down.
This also is not only implied to physical threats but to mental ones as well. We all need to draw our own mental circles and know when others are just messing with us vs. actually entering that circle where we need to move or react.
Here is an example of that.
When I am at work and someone tells me that I did a shitty job. I wait a minute and see if that is a true fact. Well, I know it not true because one of my ways of getting though my job is to do my best at every task given to me. So then I see that this person is just swinging outside of my circle so I do not need to waste energy on him with words of retaliation or any other kind of action.
When someone is trying to intimidate you and you do not react, they burn out quick and it is then over. With no reaction, there is nothing for them to feed on so they move on and leave you alone for that moment.
When you draw your circle, you can then determine if you need to react or not, and you will soon see more value in who you really are. When you define your value, you will not care what others say when they are outside of your circle. Because you know that they are just wasting their energy not yours.
So the next time someone or something tries to intimidate us, Lets follow what Master Han’s advices:
“To avoid intimidation Think More and React Less”
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Article Source: How to Avoid Being Intimidated
