by DS
What is faith? Do we associate it too often with a religion or dogma? I’d like to believe it is simply a matter of believing in truth, love, and life, whether it brings you the good or bad. Children understand faith more than adults, as they have no doubts about life; they trust blindly; they’re full of hope. I was recently bewildered by the courage and ingenuity of Kathy, my colleague’s niece.
Kathy is 10 years old and lives in Repentigny with her parents and two younger sisters. Her mom is expecting a fourth toddler any day now, but more than that, she is also facing anxiety and fear over a delicate surgery that Kathy must undergo. Kathy has a rare tumor in her jaw, which is dangerously expanding in her sinuses and eyes. Doctors have no choice but to remove the entire upper bone of her left jaw, which means all the teeth as well. A metal plate will replace the bone temporarily until she reaches the age of 16, and by then doctors will attempt to restructure her jaw by bone transplantation. At this moment, there is no guarantee that the tumor will not relapse and that her face will look the same after the surgery.
Doctors explained in every detail the procedures of the surgery to Kathy, making sure she also understood its consequences. They have not promised her anything, and explained that she will need to eat from a straw for a few weeks. Kathy doesn’t seem to attach too much importance to it; all she wants is to get rid of the tumor, which is now bigger than a golf ball. One wonders whether she fully understands the impact of what she is about to experience. But Kathy is not afraid. She is facing all this with such serenity. Personally, that would be the end of it for me.
Kathy’s mom is frightened. She worries about her child’s health, the cost of replacing her teeth, and whether she will be able to support her daughter through the surgery, as she is about to give birth. In a desperate act to comfort her, her mom asked her for a wish. Kathy immediately responded with enthusiasm that she wanted a kitten. Regretfully, her mom had to refuse and asked for another wish. They already have two cats and she doesn’t want the burden of a third, especially now that she is about to deliver a baby. But Kathy didn’t want anything else and things were left at that.
A few days later, they thought they heard a baby crying outside; they looked around and found out that a kitten was keeping warm under the hood of their car. They wondered where this kitten came from as there are no houses around, they live in the country. Puzzled by this strange coincidence, they decided to keep the kitten, to the great joy of Kathy, who called it Eclipse.
Somehow, I think Kathy never surrendered on her wish. She just waited, she had faith. And that same faith is helping her go through this surgery. She trusts that she will not be let down, that someone is looking after her. Whether you want to call that “someone” angel, faith, trust, love, god, hope, the feeling is the same. No matter what happens to you, it is an obstacle of life which you need to learn to face without fear. Whether you feel scared or not, you still have to go through it, you might as well face it with hope and a positive attitude. Kathy lives in the moment and doesn’t worry about what “might” happen in the future. Children have this amazing inner wisdom which adults tend to lose through the years but slowly regain as they approach death, as though birth and death are the closest phases to spirituality.
Kathy was operated in October 2007 and has been moving on with her life. I wish her all the best. Her story is an inspiration for me because I realized I have very little faith in life – mainly because I have no patience. We have expectations about life and assign deadlines to them and often we are disappointed or disillusioned when they don’t materialize. But life will bring you what you need at its own pace at the right time. In this world of materialism and fast gratification, time has become a consumable product which we would like to think that we have control over. But we don’t.
Kathy’s story is a reminder of our attitude towards life and this has brought certain peacefulness in me. If she can do it, what’s my excuse? The way I understand life today is that there is no point trying to control your destiny to satisfy your desires. Life on this earth is a passage of time, a short period that one is better equipped to face with a candid behavior, knowing that there is more to life after death.
Easier said than done, but I will think of Kathy’s story next time I experience fear or doubt about life.
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