Anger is something that can take hold of us and become a habit. We find ourselves chronically irritated and even the smallest provocation causes us to lose control. Living life like that is extremely painful, not just for the person afflicted; but also for all those around them. Here I share some ideas which have helped me to end my anger.
Take Your Focus Off The Cause And Put It On Something Positive.
There is a law of the universe that states that “what you focus on expands.” You can see the truth of this if you think about what happens when you’re angry with someone because you feel they have wronged you: you dwell on angry thoughts about that person and what they did, and over time the anger just keeps on growing. Therefore removing your focus from the cause of your anger will allow it to reduce over time.
I personally found that having a positive goal to focus on, helped enormously. I was able to distract myself from the negative angry thoughts a lot of the time.
Look At The Situation Differently.
Sometimes the anger can be exacerbated by the way in which we perceive the situation. There is always more than one way to look at a circumstance or event; so trying to take a positive, non-critical and understanding view will help to reduce your anger.
Talking to someone else about the problem can help you with this; an objective person may help you to see another way of viewing the situation.
Understand The Other Party.
Trying to understand why the other person behaved as they did will help to salve your anger. You will need to emotionally take a step back from the situation in order to do this, and that can be really hard.
Finding out about the other person’s background and previous life experiences can help you to understand their current behaviour. After all, we’ve all had “stuff” happen to us; sometimes people don’t cope too well and project their unhappiness onto those around them. Knowing this can help you be more understanding.
Look For The Lesson In The Situation.
I believe that in every situation there is a lesson to be found. The universe talks to us through people around us and events that happen to us. It urges us always to learn and grow as people.
Try to look objectively at the event or situation and see what you can learn from it: could you have behaved differently?
Get To Know Your True Self.
There is more to all of us than meets the eye: we are more than just our physical body. We are spiritual beings, living in a spiritual universe and most of what we perceive through our five senses is an illusion. When we start to understand the truth of what and who we are we can start to feel control of our lives and this reduces anger.
Learn about your spiritual self and the law of attraction to begin to feel empowered; then you will know you can build the life you want and have less need to be angry at others.
Contemplate The Effects Of Your Anger, Remember Karma.
When anger takes over we tend to be oblivious to the effects of our anger; we are just washed away by the strong emotion. But we need to be aware of the effects of that anger, not only on ourselves, but on those around us. Karma is also known as the Law of Sowing and Reaping: you reap according to what you have sown. In other words, “what goes around comes around”.
Take time to think about the effects that your anger has on others, and also to feel the effects it has on you. Doing that should help you to realise it’s time to make a change.
Love And Forgive Yourself.
I think that many of us feel a lot of anger because we are blaming others for things that we don’t like about ourselves. This is not conscious of course, but nevertheless true. We need to love and forgive ourselves; we are all just imperfect people on our own journey. Know that you are just as worthy and deserving of love and happiness as anyone else.
Stand in front of the mirror twice a day and say:
“I love and fully accept myself, just as I am.”
“I forgive myself, I forgive others, I am forgiven.”
Practice Blessing.
Blessing others is a powerful tool for reducing anger, it moves you to a place of wishing others well instead of blaming and criticising.
Use your mind as a tool to wish others well. Initially you can do this for those close to you, just saying to yourself things like:
“I bless……, I wish them happiness and prosperity.”
You can also use a visualisation technique: in your min’s eye, see the person standing in front of you and see them bathed with the beautiful soft white light of love.
Then as you progress you can bless those you come into contact with in your daily life: the bank teller, the girl at the grocery store etc just by sending loving thoughts out to them.
Practice Gratitude.
The practice of gratitude has similar power, to start to change your emotions from negative to positive.
Take ten minutes at the start of the day to remember all the people, circumstances and possessions that you have to be grateful for. Do it again at the end of the day, just before you go to sleep, for the things to be grateful for during the day. If you like you can write everything down in a Gratitude Journal. This practice has been really helpful to me.
Nurture Yourself.
One of the best tips for ending anger is to nurture yourself. Often we can be our own worst critics and abusers.
Are you looking after your health as best you can? Are you looking after your spiritual health? are you giving yourself time each week to replenish your energies, by doing something you love? Love yourself first, because it is only when we learn to love ourselves that we can truly love others.
I hope these ten ideas for ending anger are helpful to you in your journey to a better life.
Love and peace to you.
Frances
Frances Copping is a Life Empowerment Coach based in the UK, but working with women from all over the world. She works with women to help them take control of their lives and build the lives they love and deserve, while being the best mothers they can be. Frances has a website dedicated to supporting mothers: http://www.all-about-motherhood.com Sign up for her free ezine Your True Colours here: http://www.all-about-motherhood.com/ezine.html
Article Source: Ending Anger
Related posts:
- Practicing Forgiveness – Six Steps to Freeing Yourself From Anger and Blame By Richard G Harvey The first step to practicing forgiveness is admitting that we are attached to vengeance. This means owning our feelings of anger and resentment, which often have their origins in the distant past. We must admit that we feel angry and then find out what it is that we are angry [...]...
- Ending Co-Dependence by Nick Arrizza, M.D... Are patterns of Co-dependence ruining your relationships and your life? Are you courageous enough to look at the needs that feed your co-dependent patterns and to start to release them forever? If so this article can show you how to begin......
- No One Appreciates Me By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Have you ever hear yourself say, or said to yourself, “No one appreciates me.” I used to say this to myself all the time. I was constantly giving myself up to please others, and then ended up feeling completely unappreciated and resentful – until I learned how to take loving [...]...